Living with Teenagers/How Cliché
No, I'm slacking! For today, just to have a post out this(ish) week, I'll post a couple of old starters that never really got anywhere. Sorry for the oldness! Soon, I'll have a brand-spanking-new post about a whole new topic and even though you won't recognize that it's new because you can't see all of my drafts so even this appears new it will be new. Did you follow that? I'm a pretty confusing person...
I named this post after a Christian magazine Dad used to pick up every time we went to church. I always thought to myself, he needs a magazine to tell him how to handle us? It kind of hurt my feelings.
And I know that sounds a little childish, "He hurt my feelings," but it's how I felt. Hurt. Maybe I should explain why.
Every day I feel like a horrible kid, like I'm not doing enough, like I'm not grateful enough. I also feel like no matter what I do, my parents won't be happy. Whenever we do something, it isn't enough. I once cleaned the kitchen without being told, without having to, and when my stepmother came home, she told me it hadn't looked as if I'd cleaned it. Maybe I overreacted, maybe I got hurt for no reason. I mean, why shouldn't she tell me what I did wasn't good enough? Why should I be angry because she told me the truth? But it made me feel as if I couldn't do enough and it be enough.
I have all of this doubt in myself clouding my vision of who I really am, and what I can really do. And it is reinforced by the people around me. I'm never pretty enough to get the guy. I'm never outgoing enough to make a friend. I'm never nice enough to finish last. I'm never good enough to be proud of. And even now, my doubt tells me I'm being dumb and immature. Just because he says this or she does that doesn't mean she really thinks that way. But how many times does someone have to do something before it becomes a part of who they are?
This is really going nowhere and probably doesn't make a lot of sense, so I'll end this one a little short and tack on one that I started the other day that never really got anywhere and probably doesn't make sense. Side note: I just co-won Risk for the first time ever! I usually really suck at it and fail quickly, but this time the only reason we didn't get the whole board was because we moved our armies into a corner. Twice...
I was listening to this song on the way home from work on Thursday (May 26th, see, old...) and was struck by the clichés at the end of the song: “Be true to yourself and follow your heart.”
I mean, really? You are a teen pop sensation and have this golden opportunity to speak to thousands of preteens all over the world and those are the words you’re going to use? Although, I guess I can’t expect The Gettysburg Address from a pop singer. Can you work something like that into a song?
But, at least the writers could have made it a little more original and not so cheesy. Follow your heart? My sister did that and ended up staying with the jerk boyfriend that cheated on her. You know who you are…
Anyway, why do people use so many clichés to portray meaning and give inspiration or whatever? They come easiest to mind, I guess.
See? Nowhere.
Of course I can't forget my comment-provoking (hopefully) questions and my new video tradition:
I hope you don't, but do you ever feel like you're not doing enough? Like you can't satisfy the people around you no matter what? Please say no, I like to imagine people having no problems whatsoever because unlike others, it doesn't make me feel better to know that others feel the same, because that means that others feel as unhappy as I do, and I don't want that. I'm sorry if I've ever made others feel like that. Ok, this is turning more into blog rather than questions. Moving on. (Disclaimer: I'm not crazy unhappy or anything. Kind of like when you still call vanilla ice cream vanilla ice cream even after there's a boatload of chocolate syrup in it.)
What is with the cliché in the world? Why do you think people use such generic statements all the time? Am I being too harsh? As a writer, do I expect too much of others? What's wrong with a few clichés?
And the video! Enjoy.
I named this post after a Christian magazine Dad used to pick up every time we went to church. I always thought to myself, he needs a magazine to tell him how to handle us? It kind of hurt my feelings.
And I know that sounds a little childish, "He hurt my feelings," but it's how I felt. Hurt. Maybe I should explain why.
Every day I feel like a horrible kid, like I'm not doing enough, like I'm not grateful enough. I also feel like no matter what I do, my parents won't be happy. Whenever we do something, it isn't enough. I once cleaned the kitchen without being told, without having to, and when my stepmother came home, she told me it hadn't looked as if I'd cleaned it. Maybe I overreacted, maybe I got hurt for no reason. I mean, why shouldn't she tell me what I did wasn't good enough? Why should I be angry because she told me the truth? But it made me feel as if I couldn't do enough and it be enough.
I have all of this doubt in myself clouding my vision of who I really am, and what I can really do. And it is reinforced by the people around me. I'm never pretty enough to get the guy. I'm never outgoing enough to make a friend. I'm never nice enough to finish last. I'm never good enough to be proud of. And even now, my doubt tells me I'm being dumb and immature. Just because he says this or she does that doesn't mean she really thinks that way. But how many times does someone have to do something before it becomes a part of who they are?
This is really going nowhere and probably doesn't make a lot of sense, so I'll end this one a little short and tack on one that I started the other day that never really got anywhere and probably doesn't make sense. Side note: I just co-won Risk for the first time ever! I usually really suck at it and fail quickly, but this time the only reason we didn't get the whole board was because we moved our armies into a corner. Twice...
I was listening to this song on the way home from work on Thursday (May 26th, see, old...) and was struck by the clichés at the end of the song: “Be true to yourself and follow your heart.”
I mean, really? You are a teen pop sensation and have this golden opportunity to speak to thousands of preteens all over the world and those are the words you’re going to use? Although, I guess I can’t expect The Gettysburg Address from a pop singer. Can you work something like that into a song?
But, at least the writers could have made it a little more original and not so cheesy. Follow your heart? My sister did that and ended up staying with the jerk boyfriend that cheated on her. You know who you are…
Anyway, why do people use so many clichés to portray meaning and give inspiration or whatever? They come easiest to mind, I guess.
See? Nowhere.
Of course I can't forget my comment-provoking (hopefully) questions and my new video tradition:
I hope you don't, but do you ever feel like you're not doing enough? Like you can't satisfy the people around you no matter what? Please say no, I like to imagine people having no problems whatsoever because unlike others, it doesn't make me feel better to know that others feel the same, because that means that others feel as unhappy as I do, and I don't want that. I'm sorry if I've ever made others feel like that. Ok, this is turning more into blog rather than questions. Moving on. (Disclaimer: I'm not crazy unhappy or anything. Kind of like when you still call vanilla ice cream vanilla ice cream even after there's a boatload of chocolate syrup in it.)
What is with the cliché in the world? Why do you think people use such generic statements all the time? Am I being too harsh? As a writer, do I expect too much of others? What's wrong with a few clichés?
And the video! Enjoy.
Everyday of my waking life, do I not feel like I'm good enough. I've learned a long time ago I can't please everyone.
ReplyDeleteClichés are just that, clichés. They are used over and over; however, why make up your own saying when someone else said it better?
I believe we all feel like we aren't enough ... aren't good enough, pretty enough, rich enough, smart enough, and some others I probably shouldn't post. The simple fact that you are BRAVE enough too put your feelings out there for the world to see, and STRONG enough to ask for commentary tells me that you ARE enough. True, you may not get everything that you want when you want it...you may not make someone happy even though you really really tried... Eventually life does come full circle and you will find the joy you very much deserve!!!
ReplyDeleteGood Evening, Ms. Shenanigans!
ReplyDeleteOverwork has kept me from your wonderful blog, but it is always on my list of things "to do"--I guess there is just never "time enough" for me to get the things done that would make my life seem "good enough" or "complete enough" or "fulfilling enough" so sometimes I just say "enough is enough!" I can only do what I can do. As Popeye says, "I am what I am" (or more exactly: "I yam what I yam.") and I'm satisfied with that. I have a husband that is wonderful enough, a family that is often loving enough, a job that usually pays me enough and is intellectually and socially stimulating enough. AND most importantly, I have a God that is awesome enough and loving enough. What more could there be to ask for, eh?
And so there is you. You are who you are. You are who God created you to be--with some of our human rebellion thrown in for good measure. And maybe that's where the doubt starts to creep in. Maybe you just haven't hit your stride yet in the area that you are meant to be accomplished. It will come. God has given you all the gifts you need. They are enough. We can use them to our best advantage and make sure we are using those gifts to their full potential, which is where we might have some doubts if we've been slacking in the full potential area (and we know who we are...).
But we don't ever have to doubt that we are loved enough by the Creator Who made us in all our unique wonderfulness. Woo-hoo! We are loved!
I appreciate what the other posters posted. Knowing our legitimate shortcomings can point us in the right direction towards excellence (never perfection, that's a set-up for failure, but excellence). Holding ourselves up to expectations that have nothing to do with us is dangerous for our inner peace and tranquility. I'm not like those gorgeous celebrity faces that the paparazzi like to snap shots of...and I set myself up to expect to be like them...you get the drift. I use myself as my ruler: am I getting better today than I was yesterday, last week, last year? Am I a better friend, wife, co-worker, professional than I was last week, last year? Then the expectations are realistic.
And cliches? Well, sometimes they are said out of good intentions, but sometimes we have no words for a feeling--we might not even know how to get in touch with our feelings--and a cliche is as close as we can get. For those folks, don't be too harsh. On the other hand, sometimes cliches are a handy screen to stand behind so we don't have to be real or transparent, we can just pat someone on the head with a cliche and check that box off, we've done our duty. For those folks, well, are they worth it? Jury's still out on that one.
And here it is again, Ms. Shenanigans, that I have overrun your post box. But we do have such fun together.
Cheers! Dr TC