Let It All Out (These Are The Things I've Been Meaning To Say)
I've recently discovered you don't have very many opportunities to explain yourself. I know, it took me twenty years to figure that out?
But it's true. When you say something in front of others, that goes down in history exactly the way you said it. The others think of it the way it appeared to them, regardless of how it was actually meant. For example, an old high school classmate shows up where you work, and instead of saying hello, maybe making some small talk, you ignore him. He comes away from the encounter with only the thought that you ignored him. He may extrapolate from that that you're rude, or you don't like him, and from there, he may explore the reasons why you don't like him, including but not limited to: you never liked him for some unknown reason (which may make him question all the times you've been nice to him) or you think you're better than him now because of something that has changed in your life. But really, all that happened was that he reminded you of high school, and you didn't want to be reminded of high school, so it was really high school that you were avoiding. This all, of course, assumes that he thought at all about the ignoring after he left. Which he probably didn't.
That was an extremely long example, and hopefully you got the point. Which is, if you don't say exactly what you mean, without any room for subjective wondering, you run the risk of being misunderstood. And since I've never been able to do that (and it may not even be possible), I am probably misunderstood pretty often.
This blog is supposed to be my opportunity to explain myself. So here it goes.
I kinda like you. I may not show it very well (or at all), but it's only because when you're around, I can't think. Literally, I cannot think of anything to say. Except things that are stupid. I even forget how to do things I can normally do without a problem. But I promise, once I get past that whole awkward first actual conversation, I'm pretty nice, and funny. And so not stupid. I swear.
So, I'll try to figure out how to think when you're around. Will you take the chance on me?
(This song is sort of what I mean to say. Just ignore the super lovey parts. Such as "My love is strong enough to last when things are tough." Because it's not love. I'm also not crazy...)
But it's true. When you say something in front of others, that goes down in history exactly the way you said it. The others think of it the way it appeared to them, regardless of how it was actually meant. For example, an old high school classmate shows up where you work, and instead of saying hello, maybe making some small talk, you ignore him. He comes away from the encounter with only the thought that you ignored him. He may extrapolate from that that you're rude, or you don't like him, and from there, he may explore the reasons why you don't like him, including but not limited to: you never liked him for some unknown reason (which may make him question all the times you've been nice to him) or you think you're better than him now because of something that has changed in your life. But really, all that happened was that he reminded you of high school, and you didn't want to be reminded of high school, so it was really high school that you were avoiding. This all, of course, assumes that he thought at all about the ignoring after he left. Which he probably didn't.
That was an extremely long example, and hopefully you got the point. Which is, if you don't say exactly what you mean, without any room for subjective wondering, you run the risk of being misunderstood. And since I've never been able to do that (and it may not even be possible), I am probably misunderstood pretty often.
This blog is supposed to be my opportunity to explain myself. So here it goes.
I kinda like you. I may not show it very well (or at all), but it's only because when you're around, I can't think. Literally, I cannot think of anything to say. Except things that are stupid. I even forget how to do things I can normally do without a problem. But I promise, once I get past that whole awkward first actual conversation, I'm pretty nice, and funny. And so not stupid. I swear.
So, I'll try to figure out how to think when you're around. Will you take the chance on me?
(This song is sort of what I mean to say. Just ignore the super lovey parts. Such as "My love is strong enough to last when things are tough." Because it's not love. I'm also not crazy...)
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