Happy New Year!
Three months and four days and it'll be a year. Here is what has happened since I last wrote.
I made a move.
I'm part of a Friends-like group!
We went camping twice and took a road trip to Orlando.
I moved to a new place.
I spoke up, several times, about a problem with said new place.
I went on a date.
I broke a promise to myself.
I cheated.
I hated.
I hurt someone so much, they decided they didn't want me anymore.
I didn't blame her.
I stopped writing.
I stopped reading.
I stopped believing.
New Year's Day has never meant that much to me. This year I spent it with GREAT people. But the idea behind it, that a day is so special it's supposed to change everything, is, to be frank, a load of crap. Change is hard, and you have to work at it. And real change, as evidenced by gym attendance on February 1st, doesn't come from an impulse decision by someone pressured into naming a resolution.
I almost get it right now, though. New Year's Day is a new beginning, a new lease on life. A time to change everything you've ever wanted to be different, because you don't always have to be the same, and here's the proof. I'm hoping I can change, that I can fix all of those things that went wrong this year. I just have to remind myself, constantly, I don't want to be the same person I am. I want to feel comfortable in my skin. I want to rearrange my priorities. I want to be good, not just liked. I want to do something for others.
I want to keep up with this blog.
I made a move.
I'm part of a Friends-like group!
We went camping twice and took a road trip to Orlando.
I moved to a new place.
I spoke up, several times, about a problem with said new place.
I went on a date.
I broke a promise to myself.
I cheated.
I hated.
I hurt someone so much, they decided they didn't want me anymore.
I didn't blame her.
I stopped writing.
I stopped reading.
I stopped believing.
New Year's Day has never meant that much to me. This year I spent it with GREAT people. But the idea behind it, that a day is so special it's supposed to change everything, is, to be frank, a load of crap. Change is hard, and you have to work at it. And real change, as evidenced by gym attendance on February 1st, doesn't come from an impulse decision by someone pressured into naming a resolution.
I almost get it right now, though. New Year's Day is a new beginning, a new lease on life. A time to change everything you've ever wanted to be different, because you don't always have to be the same, and here's the proof. I'm hoping I can change, that I can fix all of those things that went wrong this year. I just have to remind myself, constantly, I don't want to be the same person I am. I want to feel comfortable in my skin. I want to rearrange my priorities. I want to be good, not just liked. I want to do something for others.
I want to keep up with this blog.
Keep up with the blog! I love it!
ReplyDelete