sincerely, me

I have (not so) recently discovered I cannot comment on my posts. For some reason, in between my dashboard and clicking on a post I'd like to comment on, I get logged out. Seriously. I cannot. Comment. On my own . Posts. Quite annoying. In case you couldn't tell. Also, I'm having troubles with my battery/batteries. Because I'm so sure you're interested, I'm going to tell you of them. While on vacation to see Mom, I noticed my computer shut off. Right in the middle of what I was doing. Namely, watching a movie on Netflix. Then, it did it again. And again. And again so many times, I gave up and shut my computer off for the rest of the trip. And blamed it on the battery, because I'd noticed the battery light blinking this orange color. Kind of pretty. Not at all the point. So when I got home, I told my dad the battery was glitchy and he persuaded me to buy a new one off Amazon. The seller looked very reputable, so I got a new Dell battery for quite a s...

Music makes everything better. I know, it's really cheesy. "Music is life," "I couldn't live without music." But, it's true. Music does make everything better. There's not one situation that music couldn't, if not fix, make go away for 3 or more minutes. And, really, that's all we can ask. Our problems we have to deal with ourselves. But music is the one thing that can take the weight of it all off our shoulders and help us think clearly. It's the one thing we can do without having to concentrate completely on. You can't read or watch television while studying or mowing the lawn. But crank up the tunes when you're cleaning and a chore isn't even a chore anymore. I almost want to keep cleaning so I never have to stop listening. But music is also something you can give your full attention and you couldn't get bored. I would sit for hours just listening and singing if it weren't for all those pesky distractions li...

I am terrified of the future. I can't think about it or I feel hopeless, like I'll never be anything, like every single one of my dreams will come crashing down around my shoulders if I even try. I want to write so badly. And I guess I don't have to be a writer to write. But I want my time to be encompassed by writing and love and a little more writing. Maybe I do, I'm not sure. What I'm afraid of the most is turning out to be like the very person I never want to be. No one person in particular, just that girl who settles. She's got a pretty well-paying job, why try to make it any further? Or she's tried, but nothing's worked. She's stuck. I can't be stuck. I can't settle. You would think that would motivate me to do a little more, to work a little harder. But I am lazy, and effortless, meaning I put forth almost no effort. And I hate that. Why can't I be the girl that everyone reads about in the newspaper, the one who's so ...

No, I'm slacking! For today, just to have a post out this(ish) week, I'll post a couple of old starters that never really got anywhere. Sorry for the oldness! Soon, I'll have a brand-spanking-new post about a whole new topic and even though you won't recognize that it's new because you can't see all of my drafts so even this appears new it will be new. Did you follow that? I'm a pretty confusing person... I named this post after a Christian magazine Dad used to pick up every time we went to church. I always thought to myself, he needs a magazine to tell him how to handle us? It kind of hurt my feelings. And I know that sounds a little childish, "He hurt my feelings," but it's how I felt. Hurt. Maybe I should explain why. Every day I feel like a horrible kid, like I'm not doing enough, like I'm not grateful enough. I also feel like no matter what I do, my parents won't be happy. Whenever we do something, it isn't enough. I o...