Melancholic Catch-up
I am feeling a lot. I am disappointed in myself for everything I am right now. I am lazy, unmotivated, unhappy, and boring. And bored. I don't know what to do about it. Depending on what you believe about the world, I should either make my own change or rely on God to fulfill His plan in me. I believe that God will enact His plan for my life, but what if His plan is to leave me this lump of a human? That doesn't sound right to me, really, though, if I'm honest, I don't know Him that well. I am feeling heartbroken. It's hard to put into words, especially via a blog that I know anyone might read. I spend a lot of time distracting myself from my problems, because I don't know how to solve them, and if I did, I don't have the confidence to do what it takes. I want a new job, and I want it to be something that fulfills something other than my financial obligations. But I'm afraid to be less than what they're looking for, and what if I find something tha...